I awoke one morning to find my life had forever changed. My once carefree life had taken a sobering turn down a road I never intended to trod. Once my eyes adjusted to the blur now surrounding me, I took a long look around myself this way and that. I stepped side to side, looking forward and backward but all I could see far and near was pain, all I could hear was doubt, all I could feel was the fear. Fear of this, my new reality, trying to steal itself deep inside my soul.
This life of mine now to my dismay was caught short. All I once knew was no more. All I could embrace, all that was offered, was the uncertainty of this new journey beckoning me to follow. Why me? Why now? So deep within my soul I sought solace and comfort. I needed answers and yet the answers I sought were no where to be found. My spirit was not ready to give up and my heart not able to give in. A silent killer indeed had been let loose inside my body to destroy and seige what it could. Everywhere I turned I saw death's face staring back at me, biding for my strength and cutting deep into my determination. Death was begging me to give up and give in to it's grip. I could not escape the Grims reach as he tried to turn my joy into sorrow. Still I kept my footing and did not waver while the pull and the stench of fear itself kept calling out to me, tanting me and daring me to just give in to the inevitable.
Yet somehow life itself sought and strove to overcome. Although many poisons lay hold of me physically trying to rid my body of this beast called breast cancer I held to hope, to love and to faith with all my might. I held true as long as I could keep pushing forward, moving backward at times, but always fighting to overcome. I longed to finally wake up and find my life sentence suspended, having finally overcome by living, not dying. I sought to continually give way to strength, never giving in to defeat!
This journey of mine is not yet complete. I am still moving forward, even while taking a step backwards, seeking always to come full circle in this battle of mine. With every day I have another leg to go, and so I travel onward toward recovery...well being ... to new life and to a new beginning.