About Me...

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In a nut shell : I'm a wife, a full time working mom, a teacher, a Star Wars geek, comic book nerd, Disney enthusiast, hockey Mom, a decade long breast cancer survivor, and oh let's not forget such a happy, sassy, southern mess!

Monday, May 21, 2007

The life of a Survivor

A Way of Life

Over the last year and four months I have come to realize that being a breast cancer survivor is more than just a statement. It is a way of life. A way of living each and every day from just pulling yourself up and out of bed in the morning to getting yourself back into bed when the day is through. It is about finding a way to live through the uncertainty of tomorrow and the pain of today. Along the way you find, store deep within you and when needed rely upon faith, hope, strength and courage. Your new life is a maze of "what ifs" as it suddenly becomes an open book for all to see, to read and to criticize. Surviving breast cancer becomes an intricate and defiant part of who you are now. Your life, the one you have now taken a second mortgage out on, is up for review every so many months so you live every moment as if it is your last. This is the life of a survivor, a life that is now mine and one I am humbled to live.

As I have traveled this road I have come across many different women and with each woman a new story of triumph, loss, hope and courage. I was reminded of this on Mother's Day as I enjoyed the afternoon with family. I was standing there, taking in a ball game with my children and husband when I looked to my left. It was instantaneous, one look and we both knew. She was standing there, with her hat on her head, standing out beautifully while smiling through her fear. Before I realized we were embracing as if we had known each other all our lives. We stood there, crying as the other people around us looked on with confusion not knowing what to think of us.

Yes, I saw the loss of hair, the lost look in her eyes, but I also saw determination, strength, courage, grace and beauty. I can tell you from living through this battle myself that it takes all five of those traits to step out the door, walk tall and still move among the living everyday. In those precious moments I shared with my fellow sister, I saw myself not too long ago. I felt the tears, the fear and the loss. I understood the uncertainty she held in her heart as she looked upon her children, I too have felt that pain. Yet for all her fear, she walked with strength, shouting it loudly for everyone there to see. She was beautiful and she was inspiring. She was my hero.

Yes, survivors are a different breed. We lose our hair, and our breasts all while still tending our homes and raising our families. We tie on our bandanas and still smile through the stares. We are strong women, confident women and we are determined women. We are the unspoken heroes, which go unseen and largely unheard on most days. We are more than pink ribbons, we are fighters and we are SURVIVORS.

Christina

5 comments:

  1. Your words said it all dear......so inspirational to many others, wish you could publish your words for all the world to see so they would touch all those needing to hear your words and thoughts....Bless you....Arlene (AJ)

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  2. I couldn't agree with the comment below more, your words deserve to be published for all to see, you have such a way with words...this has brought me to tears, so touching!
    Keep on keeping on girl!
    Hugs,
    Terri

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  3. Christina I have told my sister several times since you started your journal that I wish she could read it. She hasn't yet learned anything about a computer. As a caregiver to our sister Judy as she traveled on her journey we witnessed much of what you write about. Judy's low blood count didn't allow her to go out in public much, but every once in awhile she would take her chances. While shopping on one of these occasions a lady walked up to her and asked her if she could give her a hug, they embraced, this special lady was a seven year breast cancer survivor. When Judy was told she had cancer she started receiving calls from others with cancer, she too, started reaching out to others who were told they had cancer. Magnificent bonds of friendship were formed through tears, prayer, and a few laughs in between, as they gave each other encouragement. Fight on for the sisterhood my friend, my hero, you truly are a SURVIVOR!!!
    Love
    Debbie

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  4. Inspiring as always dear one. There is strength in numbers. (Hugs) Indigo

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  5. A wonderful touching entry as always. Paula

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