Saturday, May 12, 2007
Mother's Day is here again.
Mother's Day is a time to remember why we love our Moms so much. But for me this year it isn't so much about my children reflecting on how much they love or appreciate me. They have had the last year to think about "how much." How much they "will" miss me, "if". How much they miss our old life. How much they are scared. How much they need mommy to be OK. No, this year is about how much I love being a mom. How much I love my boys and all the crazy, chaos they bring into my life on a daily basis. How much I am grateful to be alive and to experience all that being a mom offers.
Last Mother's Day, I was just at the beginning of my journey. As I pulled my body out of bed and embraced the morning I looked out at the day and wondered if it would be my last. I soaked it all up, impressed those moments deep into my heart so that I would have those memories to hold on to when "the time" might come. I made myself smile as tears fell from my eyes. I just would not allow myself to take the day for granted in any way or on any level. What I did do was keep my children close, enjoy my Mother's Day Tea with Micah and grab an extra hug from Joshua as he presented me with his hand made card.
Last year I was still looking for higher ground in my fight with breast cancer. I was uncertain of all that lay ahead me and what might befall my life as I passed through the valleys of pain and fear. But I held close with all my might to my faith, and to hope. Somewhere along the path I gained strength and found the courage to keep living, breathing and loving in spite of the obstacles in front of me. My children's love, and tears gave me the determination to see the battle through and see it through we have! Yes, my life is still full of uncertainty, but I am living my life, one day at a time and as richly and fully as possible.Since I have been given this gift of mortality and seeing life for what it truly is, fleeting and precious, I have lived each day as if it were my last. I have done so with awe and in return I have been given a full year of beautiful, precious and wonderful memories that continue to grow with each new day. These memories we have built into our lives can be accessed at any time, any hour or any minute I need a pick me up or a smile to soothe away any pain trying to grip my body. I have loved and been loved and I have been granted many more blessings than I could ever count to see me through the rainy days.
This year, as Mother's Day sails across the horizon, I celebrate my children. I celebrate their lives and unconditional love they bring into my life every day! Yes, being a mom is bittersweet, the results though, tried and true, are completely worth the journey. So on this Mother's Day I celebrate the life and love I have. I celebrate the gift of motherhood. I celebrate my boys, who are my life, my reason for living and for fighting every step of this battle. I celebrate my precious, Divine given gifts I have been given in Joshua and Micah and all the joy, laughter and love they bring into my life. How could I ever ask for more?