About Me...

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In a nut shell : I'm a wife, a full time working mom, a teacher, a Star Wars geek, comic book nerd, Disney enthusiast, hockey Mom, a decade long breast cancer survivor, and oh let's not forget such a happy, sassy, southern mess!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Warrior Girl, In Honor Of Breast Cancer Awareness Month

I AM A Warrior!

Breast Cancer has made me into many things... a fighter, an advocate, a survivor and a warrior. There have been many days that Breast Cancer has stomped the breathe right out of me, made me feel as if it was taking my life away with it's every daunting touch. But at the end of the day my fear has always been replaced by courage, my tears replaced by stubbornness and my pain by hope. For every inch of ground that cancer has ever tried to take away from me, I have pushed myself two more steps ahead.

So as I look out and see pink ribbons everywhere I turn right now, I feel a strong surge rising up, beating inside me. I feel the need to shout it out that this is a month of reckoning, and a time to put a real, very honest face on breast cancer. A time to stand together and fight with all our might to save our daughters, our son's daughters and our daughters, daughters daughter.

We are not just pretty ribbons or an admirable cause for just this moment in time. No, we are real women, with real lives and a very real invading enemy that is still biding for our very existence. And yet, even as this enemy advances from all sides, and all directions, we are holding our ground and holding onto real hope in spite of what we know lies before us.

The real truth is that Breast cancer is not pretty despite the delicate pink ribbon. It does not just come out of the closet for one month out of the year in a brightly colored package. No, Breast Cancer is a monster, a beast at best, that wages war all year long upon thousands and thousands. It's objective...to kill. Breast Cancer manes and makes it's mark upon mind, body and soul. Breast Cancer takes no prisoners, it plays by no ones rules. Breast Cancer does it's own bidding and if let out to play will continue on it's war path. I ca say from experience that Breast Cancer does not play well with others! This enemy is silent as it is deadly. It claws, gnaws and tramples it's way through your body consuming every thing in its way.

The woman I was before, is not the same woman that I have become. True there was once a time when I saw Breast Cancer as only an older woman's disease. How very naive I was before coming face to face myself with this beast. But now I stand tall, side by side with all women. I stand shoulder to shoulder with both the young and the old, those still naive and those wiser than I, to fight this war. I was once afraid, but now I have become seasoned and battle ready. I have put on my pink body armor and stepped over the line drawn before me. I wear my pink proudly, yet I am not deceived by it's luster anymore. I have donned my pink helmet, placed my breast plate on, laced up my boots, smeared the pink war paint across my face and taken up my sword. I am ready to march, to run, to race onto the battlefield. I am a WARRIOR!

Living in each day within this base camp we know that life is never certain, but hope is. We can beat this thing, even if it means living within it's claw. We are strong, and we are not afraid to face it dead on. Yes, we may feel our hands shake and our hearts race, but we are survivors, we are sisters, we are warriors. We will over come. It's past time to put our war paint on my dear sisters. The battle front is before us, and though the face of this beast roars loudly at us, we stand ... together, never retreating!

So again, I shout this call to arms, and call for the drums not to just beat, but to echo as loudly as they can for all to hear. I am not afraid of this breast cancer beast. I have and will continue to meet it with my sword drawn ready to fight to the end. My time has come to bleed PINK! Has yours?


Thursday, October 4, 2007


Hello Friends!

I am doing much better than I was 12 days ago! I am finally feeling much more like a human being rather than a rag doll stitched back together. I am still hurting, but at least I have been able to wean myself off of my pain meds and deal with the pain that is left. I am sleeping a lot which is something I am not used to doing. I have never been one to stop and rest. But I think this time, after all the chemo and 7 surgeries my body is just taking over the task of resting for me, lol. My stitches come out hopeful on Tuesday. That will be wonderful and I will be jumping up and down (figuratively), lol.

Today, will mark another milestone for me as I see my oncologist. Once again bittersweet. I will hold my breath till the visit is over and then I will walk out and wait another 3 months. It's the process, the journey, the cost of cancer. It is well, worth hearing that I have no signs of a return. This has been a long process, but a journey I do not regret. I have been taken apart, put back together and well molded into a stronger, better person.

The truth is it's all about putting yourself back together again, and even though it is painful, we are blessed to live in day and age where they can reconstruct our breasts. A time where we don't have to hide our cancer, but live it loudly for all the world to see and hear. A day when we can voice of hopes for a cure. Remember that this month, October, is breast cancer awareness month. It's time to find a cure and let pink be just a color again!

My Love to ALL of you.


Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Race for the Cure

Today, I Am A Survivor

Today I want to be free, to be able to wake up and know I am alive, free from Breast Cancer and her shadow. But for today, I have to accept what grace I have been given to fight this beast. Today I must be brave even if I don't really want to be. Today I must hold my head up, put my shoulders back, smile and put one foot in front of the other despite how I feel. You see, today is not about me, nor is it about my own struggle or the inner demons that taunt me daily. No, today is about my sisters and brothers, yes brothers, some 200,000 of them alone just this year who will be diagnosed with breast cancer.

Today is a time to reflect, to rejoice and to mourn. Today, I will walk with those who have survived this monster as I will walk among those whom have lost beloved sisters, daughters and wives to this beast. Yes, today I will walk for all of them, for my family, and yes even for myself!

Today I will join thousands to honor one cause. Today, in the morning hours I will walk hand and hand with those that have come to stand up together defiantly by my side and cross a finish line that embodies HOPE for a CURE. For Today, I am a Survivor!