I just want to say I am humbled and blessed to be surrounded by so many dear and wonderful friends. I am still recovering from the IVIG on Tuesday. It was much rougher than I expected. My BP sky rocketed for one, then I developed a major headache, followed by fever, followed by throwing up. Finally the nurse knocked me out. That is really saying it lightly! I woke up close to 7 AM the next morning...15 hours later. No joke.
So I have been recovering the last couple of days. I am stilling running a low grade fever and I have eaten two meals since Tuesday, But I will say this in spite of it all: I can bend my fingers! Yes I said bend. I can almost make a fist. I am so excited. If this is just after one treatment, what will happen after two? Truth: I hate the process, but if the process will give me some of the pieces back of my life I feel have been taken, well, I am game. I look at it the same way I looked at chemo.
I hated every minute of it. It sucked to be plain honest. It was painful, terrible and devouring. But it saved my life. So the bottom line is this: I may not like all the turns I have to take. I may not like the meds, the treatments or even the doctors sometimes. But in the end if one of those options will give me just 5 more minutes with my children, I will swollen what ever poison handed to me.
Life is hard that way. I know. This new treatment scared my boys. They came home from school and I was laid out on my bed out cold, an IV running into my arm and the nurse would not let them come near me. They were terrified, scared, beyond fear. Last night both Joshua and Micah came to me, in tears. Micah asked if I was going to die. He said he was scared I was going to be taken from him. He slept in our bed glued to my side. Joshua, wiped his tears away hurriedly and asked if he needed to worry. What can you tell your babies at that point? I just held them, told them I loved them and that I have no plans to go anywhere, anytime soon.
Life... can be unbearable at times. But every minute you have with those who you love is beyond the burden we carry. How does the song go? " Life any always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride." Well, that is how I feel. A dear friend recently shared this with me: "But would you and I have had this chance to cross paths if it had not been so?" The answer is no. I would have never found such true friendship or such beautiful kindness as the kind I have found here in "J Land".You are each part of my family, part of who I am and who I am becoming. I love to read through your entries. They make me laugh, think, cry and hope. Each one blesses me in their own special way, so I want to thank Sugar (Her link is attached to the award) and Michelle (her link is attached to her award) for the Marie Antoinette awards they have passed on to me.
I am going to do this a little different since I have received two awards. You will see below what I mean. Sugar out it best when she gave her award out when she mentioned that there are way too many blogs to give this award to. I wish I could pass it on to everyone.
1. Stacy at: http://faithbelieveandwisdom.blogspot.com/
4. Dannelle at: http://odestotheoddptdeux.blogspot.com/
6. Hollie at: http://hollie-lifeinasmalltown.blogspot.com/