The sun rose today, and I am glad of it. Feeling the warmth of the sun I am reminded some things never change. We are in Gods' hands. So with that said, I am off the roller coaster ride and as my dear friend Morgen says, into the tea cups. You know the ones where you spin around crazily until you pass out? Maybe even get a bit queasy?Yep, those are the ones! With one exception, these tea cups, aren't the Disney version. Nope these cups are the kind to keep spinning and spinning with no end in sight. Cancer is no ones friend, so any new twists and turns on this ride should not come as a major surprise.
So I have exited the Boobie Cyclone Coaster and I am now spinning around, like a lunatic, screaming. My eyes are ready to pop out as I see the next spin coming my way. I definitely don't want to end up under the tea pot spilling out hot tea!My hands are covering my mouth, my eyes and trying to hold on for dear life all at the same time. So to answer your question, no my hands are not on the wheel as I am not spinning myself. Truth be told here the beast has joined me for yet another crazy day at Boobie Land. She is laughing, of course, enjoying herself, smiling, cheering me on, clapping as I bounce from one side of the ride to the other. What fun we are all having. Shes' even got a balloon and pink cotton candy waiting for me! (As if I could eat anything after this toss about!) Can't you just see it?
Things aren't as happy go lucky here in Boobie Land as we all would like to think huh? Life is not predictable nor is it guaranteed. So I am back to the waiting and probing. I am not in shock or denial this time. No, I am ready for the beast this time around. She may be lurking ready to lock me in here at her cancer wonderland, but I am prepared this time around to fight back. I have a plan, I am ready to deal with her mean natured offspring. I will not be in this spinning cup forever!
If you have not guessed by now I have news. My cancer is not back, it is simply toying with me yet again. My MRI seemed fine not showing a tear or rupture in my implant. But my oncologist did notice I do have a mass. She did measure and document the thing. I did not ask how big because I did not want to have anything more to ponder. After all how much thinking can you do while spinning in a tea cup? So I will be scheduled for the following:
- Mamo of the right breast.
- Ultrasound of both the left and right breast.
- Blood work (markers). This is just part of my normal routine.
- Surgical breast biopsy of the left breast.
- Biopsy of yet another mass on my skull( they just keep coming back).
- See a new breast surgeon to discuss removing implant.
- X-ray of my rib (right side) because of the recent pain I have been having in the area.
Nothing big, just nerve racking. It will be a few weeks for all this to resolve itself, and still all may be well. It is just a lot to process and get done. God has not abandoned me. I am in good hands. I just need to hold on a bit tighter for the next month!