About Me...

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In a nut shell : I'm a full time working mom, a Star Wars geek, comic book nerd, Disney enthusiast, hockey Mom, a breast cancer survivor of almost a decade and oh let's not forget such a happy, sassy, southern mess!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Dancing Like A Court Jester

Two little words with a big punch…. Breast Cancer.

Does this sound all too familiar?

Crazy, Insane, Out of control…

Do you feel cancer has taken control of your whole life?

Well then get on board! This car is heading down the track.

Seriously I don’t know about you, but my life has jumped ship onto a speeding horse made of steel. I seem strapped in with no place to go but around and around this race track. Hit the brakes? Sure thing Captain Obvious. I would love to, but there is this tiny little problem… the brake lines seem to have been cut!!!

So here I am with no breaks and an unattached steering wheel, could it get any better? Well, dog gone it, I see the culprit now skipping around the pit. How can she keep doing this? How does this monster keep getting past my security or alarms? Really, must she be so jubilant about it (cancer that is?) Ruthless is more the word. She’s just sneaking off dressed as part of the pit crew and all of this is just good fun. Maddening, isn’t it? Here I am flying over 100 miles per hour toward an impending wall and she is dancing around like some kind of court jester. Seriously do you ever feel like you have entered the Twilight Zone? I keep waiting for my old life to reemerge. Hum… well, maybe the demolished wall falling at my feet is what’s left of my old life?

Honestly cancer is a crazy “cat and mouse game” for lack of better terms. Doesn’t matter how many steps ahead you are, she always gets the jump. Then again she has wings, large feet and claws the size of any 2 story house. What is cancer really? Well let me sum it up for you… cancer is a beast, a monster, a devil, dinosaur, a @#&, a huge pain in the butt and anything else you would like to throw in there! But the truth is we can overcome her.

We are an army. We have strength, and courage and an amazing journey in front of us. We are survivors, fighters and sisters in every beautiful sense of the word. I can’t tell you not to fear my friend, but what I can say is this: Mercy and grace are stronger than fear. Turn up the music, close your eyes and take my hand. Go ahead let your hands shake, take a deep breath and then take a step of faith. Is the rain falling? Then please come and stand under my umbrella. If you are weary, allow your sisters/brothers to gather and protect you from the wind.

The earth may crumble, the seas may rise but we still have hope. We always have hope, because hope cannot be snuffed out. As survivors we are each points of hope ready to share our lives and experiences. But together, our lights held high with every sister/brother hand and hand, we are stronger than cancer! Together, with every point of HOPE we are one bright shining light! Sure the beast may still approach but she will have to face the blinding light of Hope when she does!

None of us can do this alone. We are not equipped to be one man/woman armies. We have to reach out, to allow others to reach out to us. Life is hard enough, but add cancer to the mix and well, you get unsweetened Kool-aid, definitely not my cup of tea. But add the gift of friendship, the love of family and the support of your sisters/brothers in arms and the road can be bearable.

Christina ---

Originally Posted at http://www.fightpink.org/


  1. So much is outside of our own volition, but acceptance is not, and I do believe you have accepted so many things that would make others gasp, again & again. Sometimes I think you are even trying to make us feel better :-). ~Mary

  2. I just wanted to let you know that I will be thinking of you tomorrow.. continue to hold strong Christina... the roller coaster has got to stop sooner or later.. I pray that you will once again get back to your old life.. I have extended my hand out to you.. we can all make a difference.. hope is all we have.. sending many hugs and prayers your way..

  3. As strong as everyone thinks I am...I see myself curling up on myself if I were faced with your choices hon. You inspire me with your courage, the refusal to give in no matter how many times Cancer swings her fist at you. You truly are MY Hero! (Hugs)Indigo


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