I didn't tell you? Opps, I am really sorry. Where has the time gone? I have meant to sit down all week and fill y'll in. Life has just been very stressful lately. You know the typical stuff that has caused my hair to literally fall out? Really, seriously I had to have it cut last week because it was coming out in clumps. Nice I know, but hey this time around on the O.R. merry-go-round it's really no biggie. Just a routine in and out. Of course it seems like I am taking two steps backwards to move one step forward, but hey that's what life is all about right?
Tomorrow morning I am having a brand new port -a -cath placed. This is happening, whether I want it to or not. I know, it's what I need. Sure it's for the best, really I know, since I have extremely limited access these days thanks to chemo. I have one good vein left in but it is so covered in scar tissue it just isn't very reliable anymore. Then with lymphedema in my other arm well you can see this is the next best thing.
But I am nervous. I hate going under. I don't respond well to the anesthesia and I wouldn't be truthful if I didn't admit to dragging my feet into the O.R. tomorrow. True it has been a long time coming especially with the IVIG every week. Bottom line is I will be there first thing in the morning ready to go only this time the port is going in on my own terms. No more crazy sticks with blown veins right?
When I stop and look back it amazes me to think how far I have actually come. This is me, three years after finding a lump in my breast. A lump which could have killed me, but it didn't did it? So sure I am living with the after shock of breast cancer and TAC but these small impositions are far better than the alliterative.
Yes tomorrow morning will be here before I know it with the prospect of living with another port. This will make my 11th surgery in 3 years, but hey who's counting anyway? I am just Sally at your service I am! I may be full of scars and stitched up body parts, but I have survived breast cancer, a hysterectomy, and now an auto immune disorder. I am alive, still kicking and happily ready to shout it from the roof tops! Besides Sally has her man Jack and a head full of yarn seriously how much better can it get?
Seriously, God has been good to me. I have had three more year with my family I didn't have before. I have seen my boys grow, heard their laughter fill the house and held each of them in my arms a day longer than the next. We have faced the beast, walked hand in hand across the victory line and pushed through the darkest of nights together, side by side. I am truly blessed beyond all measure to know I am loved by and to love my family.
My life is a miracle feed and water by love, compassion, understanding and countless friendships. As I walk into the hospital tomorrow morning I want each of you to know I take a part of you with me. I am honored and blessed to be touched by so many beautiful souls.
Well off I go to finish dinner and to sit down with my boys, all three of them, and watch a movie before I put the younger of the three to bed. Say a little prayer for me tomorrow. I know all will be well. Just call me Sally, after all she just has to pull out her handy dandy needle and thread!