About Me...

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In a nut shell : I'm a wife, a full time working mom, a teacher, a Star Wars geek, comic book nerd, Disney enthusiast, hockey Mom, a decade long breast cancer survivor, and oh let's not forget such a happy, sassy, southern mess!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Cleaning Out the Cobb Webs

How often do we get caught up in the running of our day to day lives? We run here, there trying to the best of our abilities to be everywhere. We take care of the kids, our husbands ( and wives) and anyone else we feel needs us that we simply forget to take care of our homes? Let me tell you it happens more often than any us would like to admit. Before we know it we are worn out, worn thin and unable to extend ourselves any further than our beds.

So as I have pondered this theory this week I spent time cleaning, sweeping, dusting, moving things around and re- organizing my house. Talk about dirt, clutter and piles of unorganized junk! I moved from one room to the next, one day at a time literally. For months I had been hiding away deep inside my own skin, away from the outside world and my cleaning supplies! I had not realized just how out of whack my home was getting or for that matter how out of balance my soul was becoming.


Isn't it the way it goes though? Life takes a bite out of us dragging us outside our comfort zone deep into the abyss. The light once surrounding us seems to instantly fade and we succumb to the dark waters of uncertainty. We may not even know how how or why we have arrived in this place but we are hear like it or not!


Before we know what has happened we are stuck and sinking all while tied to this cold dark place within our own soul unable to move. We not only see the chains binding us to these unknown frightening waters, but we feel them too.


I don't know about you but I have found myself many times dying to shake myself loose from these chains many a day. Looking around at all this soul clutter piling in on me I have found myself longing to see the light of the sun again ready to surface for a breathe of fresh air. But up till that one moment courage grabs hold of us and forces us to push away from the bottom we are locked to this sunken wreckage of broken dreams at the bottom of the abyss.


So the question is what do we do with all this clutter piling up in our soul? Do we just toss it all overboard? Do we tuck it away in the darkest corners of this decrepit ship or do we just allow it all to continue piling up until there in no room left for us to move? At some point we have to let it all go with no regrets for what has or might have been. No it isn't easy to work through pile after pile deciding what we are keeping, putting away for now or discarding but there comes a time in our all lives it must be done.


Just maybe we need the rain to wash the tears away from our faces so we can feel the grace life offers us. Maybe the process of discarding what we know is not meant to be, what is past, behind us and ready to be let go of is exactly what we need to feel His faithfulness fill us again. Maybe we need to open those closed doors inside us and sweep them clean in order for our souls to heal fully and completely.


Yes life brings us pain without question but what of the joy waiting for us as well? I can't tell you how good it feels to finally have room in my own soul to grow again, to sing and dance without bumping into those dusty piles of clutter. Breast cancer may have taken my life for a ride and yes at times she has spun me in endless circles but after cleaning the cob webs out, packing up the festering fears she left behind and rising from the abyss my spirit and soul had sunk to I feel reborn, refreshed and once again revitalized.


This is who I am, LIFE is full of changes but I am always a SURVIVOR! I am not perfect but I am trying to live life everyday in the hope I know endured. This beast is forever a apart of me and yes she makes life complicated at the most inconvenient times but I believe she has also made me stronger for the journey! I have heard it said :Some see a hopeless end while others see an endless hope. I pray in the end I will find my life in the latter.


Christina

6 comments:

  1. Great post as always, Christina. After a good bit of wrestling over the years with making it all fit, here's what I ended up deciding: being a loving, happy household comes first. Dust bunnies and decluttering are dealt with when time is available. When it's not available, just refer back to what comes first.

    It sounds like you've got everything under control.

    Ben
    http://ben-better-left-unsaid.blogspot.com/

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  2. Any deteriorating emotional situation seems a lot worse surrounded by physical clutter. I try to declutter a little of both at the same time. You have held everything together much better than I'd have been able to, and you put your family first.
    ~Mary

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  3. Really good post ... I've de-cluttered my life ... I call it downsizing.

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  4. Good for you Christina. I like the idea of decluttering and trying to keep life simple. It makes me much happier when I'm not taking on too many things.

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  5. great post.. I haven't gone through any where close to what you have been through.. and so many times I find myself running out of fuel..that is why I escape to FB..lol.. breaking through my cob-webs and making room for myself.. you are an amazing person.. where do you find the energy...
    Kelly~

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  6. I have been working on decluttering my household too. Not an easy process, but the results are so satisfying!

    Since October is Breast Cancer awareness month, I am looking to raise awareness and money for this great cause. I have found numerous etsy shops that are willing to donate prizes as giveaways during the month to get more people to come to my blog and donate.


    I will be putting links in my sidebar that will allow visitors to donate to Susan G Komen and hopefully to Keep a Breast.


    I am looking to have some guest bloggers leave posts about their own interaction with this disease. Whether it's about surviving, losing a loved one, hair loss, testing, being related to someone with bc, informational, poems, etc. Anything breast cancer related. It can even be a copy of a post that you have already posted on your blog.


    If you can be of help or know someone that can, please pass this email on to them.


    My mom is a breast cancer survivor which is why I have gotten involved with this charity.


    Please let me know if you can be a guest blogger on my blog in October asap so that I can get a schedule going.

    Thank you so much!


    Tina

    http://talkinwithteenie.blogspot.com

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