About Me...

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In a nut shell : I'm a wife, a full time working mom, a teacher, a Star Wars geek, comic book nerd, Disney enthusiast, hockey Mom, a decade long breast cancer survivor, and oh let's not forget such a happy, sassy, southern mess!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Inbetween The Turmoil

Over this last weekend I was cooking dinner as the boys watched Disney Channel. My mind was not completely on the cooking nor was it completely on the TV. As I was stirring the pot in front of me on the stove I realized I was humming the Miley Cyrus song coming from the TV. Let’s see how did it go? “Life’s what you make it so let’s make it right”. Hum… let’s ponder this for a bit…

Life is what you make it? Ok I can live with that but what happens when the tools you need are ripped right out of your hands? What happened when life takes your health? Life has sent me many obstacles, such as diabetes, stroke, bell’s palsy, cancer, lymphedema, R.A. auto immune disease, and list goes on. No, I am not listing these complications because I want sympathy; nope I am doing so because we have lost our health insurance. Yep, that’s right you heard me correctly, I have no health insurance and all these pre-existing conditions!

So what do I do? What do my children do? We have applied for Medicaid and chips. That was almost four months ago and when they finally decided to call (last week) I wasn’t home to take the call. Reschedule you say? I would love to BUT they don’t answer their phones nor does our local office have their voice mail set up. It’s such a great opportunity to see our tax dollars at work.

In between all the turmoil, the ups and downs of unemployment Johnny has done his best to find work. In fact he is working, and it’s not a bad job but in a failing economy being in sales with a 100% commissioned based job is not exactly paying the bills. We never see him anymore, the boys are a mess and now without medical insurance my body is falling apart.

I know some you will say really? I don’t see it. You are always going, always busy. The truth is I do my best to keep my pain at bay; to work and to live through it but it’s always there just below the surface. I wake in the morning and cannot move my hands. I go to sleep at night dragging my legs into bed. In all honesty I have learned in this crazy, topsy turvy life of mine to pull myself up, and let my feet hit the ground running. But even with that said, pain or no pain, there comes a time when a person’s body just gives out from under them. I think I am close to that point. No, I am not whining. I am just tired, weary I believe and yes so hurt we have no insurance.

Without insurance I am a sitting duck. First I have not had my port flushed in close to six weeks. I have no doctors, no scans, no tumor markers, no blood work, no weekly IVIG, and no medications. And it’s not just my life in jeopardy; it’s my children’s as well. What about their medical issues and their medications? Seriously medications are so high paying for them can give you a heart attack on the spot! We are all off most of our medications right now and I can say for one my body is feeling it.

So let’s regroup for a moment. So tell me what I am to do? Give up? Give in to the self pity? No I can’t do that, it does nothing for anyone. But I can continue to get up, move and live this life I have been given with my faith in tack and my hope in place. I can raise my voice and say we need reform. Our monthly premiums were billed to us at $1332 a month, how crazy is that? You think you are safe, have it all taken care of and life paid up only to find all your security gone in just a flash. Seriously with a paycheck at times lower than minimum wage I ask how does one pay such outrageous fees? When it comes to deciding between the mortgage and the health insurance one has to go especially after your policy has been re-coded.

So here we sit in a place I never saw on the map before, a place of worry, concern and uncertainty. I have lived through cancer, brought my family along for the ride and never was I so scared as I am now!


  1. as you know i understand completely. i live every day in fear after i lost my health coverage 4yrs ago. every cough, every ache, every headache and pray that it does not get worse. I would not ask this on anyone and i am so sorry it happened to you. love you.


  2. Bless your hearts! I'm so sorry. I really don't know what to say other than I am continuing to pray for you all.

  3. Christina- I am so sorry you and your family are going through this.

    I will keep you all in my prayers



  4. Very sorry to hear that you have the added worry of health care insurance on top of everything else, Christina. You could definitely do without all this.


  5. I just do not know what to say. Here in England we do not have to have insurance, we are lucky, health care is free to all. All I can do is pray for you and I will certainly do that. God bless you.

  6. Hi Christina, found your blog through Call For Support. I am so sorry that you are not getting the medical treatment you need! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Glad to meet you!

  7. I think what happened to you is sad and an example of the need for every citizen to have health insurance. No one should have to die because of lack of adequate health care coverage.

  8. Hi Christina, I have just popped by after reading from Guido...
    I am so so sorry you are having to go through this terrible time. I expect you have written to your senator? if so write again or indeed copy him your Blog page...Surely if he/she has a heart at all he will find something/somone who can help.
    God Bless,
    Love Sybil x

  9. Christina, I am so truly sorry. There is absolutely no reason why anyone should be in this position, and I am afraid more and more people will wind up in this situation unless something drastic is done.

  10. Dear Christina

    Guido guided me back your way again. Sorry not to have been around for a while. I am having computer problems. Bah! I have been working on getting on line all day!
    I'm so sorry to hear of your worries. I truly wish there was some way to help you out. It just doesn't sound real to hear that there are no safety features to help you or others in the same situation as yourself to recieve medical help. It is just too inhumane and cruel to think that you have to do without treatment for such serious conditions.
    I hope you are able to work something out or get around all your worries one way or another. Meanwhile I will keep you in my prayers.
    God bless you and your lovely family.
    Much love
    Jeanie xxx


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