Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Today I celebrate my 37th birthday. I had to stop today and ask myself where did the time go? When did life pass by so quickly? When did my precious boys grow up so fast? When did I get old? Well it all happened while I was living life, taking care to grab each moment by the horns. Time passed while I giggled and ran through my childhood. Life sped forward as I sipped tea with my Daddy and as I had my hair brushed by my Mom. Life just kept creeping up on me as I said I do to my husband and gave birth to each of my children.
Breast cancer came and took what she could from me and though she took a good many years she never took moments from me. These moments of my life are precious, held deep inside my heart, held gently and cherished each and every day. I know life is a battle ground and I know some days are losing battles but every day is worth is the effort. Every day is new, a time to embrace the beauty and the pain, every hour a new chance to give thanks for the unending hope we call our journey.
I have a hope full of grace in this life I call my own. Do I carry chains of pain some days? Yes without question but have I been given the opportunity to feel, to touch and to experience life? Yes and for this chance I would go through hell and high water to shout it to the world! I am certainly not ready to leave this world, but I am full of wild hope knowing I have been given a bountiful number of years to dance with free abandonment through the journey.
This journey as we call it, life’s journey, can make you weary and there may be many shadows which come from behind causing you to fear but know this my friend: There is fullness even in the dark times of this life we lead. I have felt the healing, seen my broken body be cast into the refining fire only to be made whole again. There is joy in our journey, I have not only seen this in my own life but felt the power of hope, of joy and the healing mend what I knew to be un-mend -able.
Sorrow will follow me and struggles will loom but for now, for today, I will dance in the joy of this moment. In the here and now I am loved, I know this without a doubt and I am held in these precious moments, knowing life has not passed me by. No I am moving with life and towards a place where time is not my enemy. Today, yes today, what a magical word, I celebrate my birthday and all the magnificent memories I have made along the way!
Yes, the years have taken me down many roads, through many detours and to the edge many more times than I can count. But God has been my One constant hope, my joy even when I have not been able to see past the door in front of me. But you know what? He can… He can see all those places and so much more. God can even see the day when my cancer is no more, when the worries of this life are no more. But for now, for today, I am going to trust in Him and live today, in this moment. I will embrace my children and cherish the time I have with my parents. I will give myself completely to my soul mate without holding back and I will not be torn away from this joy I know.
So I ask you my friend, have you ever just stopped to listen to the whispers on the wind. Oh I have and they say; Dance, they say, dance and sing and giggle as you go through life. Go ahead and close your eyes…. Feel the wind…dance my friend and live today in the moment!
This journey is just the beginning …go ahead, let this moment be real!