I wonder how many “little girls” dreamt of the ‘one boobed, pink, boobie, eating monster’ when they were growing up. Let me tell you: not in my dream world, filled with tiaras, adventures leading me around the world or trees which were made for climbing! I had no clue whatsoever about Pink Monsters, hiding up in trees, ready to pounce and devour my boobies one day! If I had I may have seen my world a little differently. Come on, how many times did you even think about cancer as a child, especially breast cancer? Did you wake up one morning thinking about losing your boobies as a grown up, or were your thoughts about growing them in as a teenager?
Let me fill you in: the One Boobed, Pink Boobie Eating Monster exists! He is a bit sneaky, luring you into his camp of beautiful, round boobies. Before you know it, you’re exercising, chanting, “I must, I must, I must increase my bust!” Picking out sexy lacey bras and imagining how these works of art might look if they were just a little bigger, maybe even a tad smaller for some, but either way, boobies are a rite of passage for each and every little girl out there! Sadly by the time this Pink Boobie Eating Monster arrives, swinging off his perch tackling you to the ground, you’re a one boobed woman!
Now let me say, I am just fine living as a one boobed, pink wearing, loud mouth shouting, monster hunting machine! Seriously, this is not a problem for me, but I do still have moments when I miss my boobies, as in both of them still attached to my chest, big, beautiful, round and stuffed inside a two cupped bra! Yes, I miss my boobies; after all I was attached to them quite literary! That is until this monster decided I or rather my boobs, would be a tasty addition to his morning meal!
I have been a fighter from the start, digging into the heart of this monster, not allowing his poisonous claws, or jagged teeth to hold me back, to hold me down any longer than the time it took him to rip my breast away from me. But I do have those days, when I face the mirror, mirror on my wall, longing to see both my boobies still in front of me. Facing the scars everyday can become very normal, part of the daily routine, but sometimes, in those brief, forgetful moments, I find myself shocked not to see both my breasts, those two pieces of womanhood not starring me back in the face, together, side by side. It’s surreal honestly tracing the big, somewhat faded, 8 inch scar across my chest where a boobie used to sit. In those moments I wonder what life would be like to have them back, not to have lost them somewhere out there on the battlefield, to be able to feel my boobie inside a bra again, to see her outline under my clothing without dressing in layers. But this is not the life I was given, and truthfully not the life I would go back to but it is the life I now lead! I miss my boobie, I miss the way she felt and the way Johnny brushed up against her. Yet I know my baby, loves me just the way that I am: a one boobed, pink scared, monster hunting, breast cancer fighting oddball!
I am determined, one day; I will discover the One Boobed, Pink Bobbie Eating Monster’s camp. When this day comes, he won’t stand a chance! I will doss his fire, tear up his tent, break up his party and raise the flag of victory myself! One day we will pull him from his perch and rid him from our lives, so no more little girls will have to grow up facing this world as I do, a one boobie, one cup stuffed bra wearing, half eaten, scared, monster fighting , strange looking camper of the “Uniboob / Boobless Camp”, run by the ‘One Boobed, Pink, Boobie, Eating Monster’!
Until then, I will continue fighting, shouting, calling out, and tracking this monster. I may never feel my breast again, under my skin, she may never be a part of me literally, but I will never forget what it was like to dream, to hope and to grown into my own boobies as a teenager. So I fight, yelling "Bring it on” for all the little girls who have yet to meet this one boobed monster, and if I play my part right, they never will!