About Me...

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In a nut shell : I'm a wife, a full time working mom, a teacher, a Star Wars geek, comic book nerd, Disney enthusiast, hockey Mom, a decade long breast cancer survivor, and oh let's not forget such a happy, sassy, southern mess!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Dealing with Perfect People and the God Complex

Have you ever thought about having super powers? Maybe supersonic speed, invisibility, x-ray vision, oh the possibilities are endless aren’t they? Now what would you do with your life if suddenly God handed you these extraordinary powers?  Have you ever thought about how amazing it would be to be able to heal someone with just a single touch or to be able to love them so unconditionally you had the power to banish fear and insecurity from a loved one’s life? Sadly, there are a few out there who would reject these abilities, reaching instead for power, ungodly and abusive in nature, seeking to destroy what they themselves cannot  obtain. What are these powers they seek to destroy? Well my friend, these powers are sometimes looked upon as ordinary, but they are so much more than that. True LOVE and COMPASSION are two of the greatest super powers we as human beings can ever obtain. For this reason alone, the Bible says, “and the greatest of these is love.”

My next question probably hits a little closer to home than dreaming about out of this world super powers. Have you ever been around someone who has an authority complex? Maybe they unnecessarily feel they have God -like powers, being sinless, acting on your behalf to save you from yourself? You know exactly the kind of folks I am talking about don’t you? Sure they seem harmless at first but over time and given just enough room they will pop your bubble as quickly as you can say huba buba!  

You may first notice this behavior when they mistreat someone you know recovering from an illness or injury, maybe they over step themselves using a small amount of knowledge as a weapon against the injured. Possibly you notice how these folks make demands of others yet seem to require little of themselves, neglecting the real needs of those who need them the most.  

Honestly it must be tiring looking over folks shoulders, making lists, checking them twice,  putting on robes of spotlessness just back from being bleached, climbing up into a broken judges seat and looking down on everyone else from the chambers of hypocrisy.  All I have to say is I want whatever energy drink they are drinking! Seriously where can I get my hands on one? Alright on a really serious note I just can’t imagine being so bold as to believe I could sit on God’s jury! I have to give it to the folks who have the audacity to ask God if He will give them power of folks in a way which derails His love and grace though, it takes guts! Seriously, what kind of super power is that? Doesn’t the Bible say they shall know you are Christians by your love? Is love not the first fruit of the spirit? And if they shall know you by your love, would not compassion be the foundation of a spirit led life?

I know what I am about to say makes many uneasy, opens a can of worms we would love to see disappear but who am I to stand by and watch the innocent be led into a den of lions, led to the slaughter just for their entertainment? How can I look myself in the mirror if I knowing stand by watching all the gory details, the lies of the slanderous and malicious to emerge without challenge?

I am coming today from a perspective not unlike many of you, from my own experiences with those who have falsely sought to gain access into my life through judgment, acting the parts of judge, jury and executioner. These types of people may even be loved ones who under dire circumstances keep lists of your transgressions, frailties, and your weakness only to manipulate and bend them into their own tablets of thou shall not’s!  Sadly, this self righteous game of thrones is a stark reality for most of us at some point or another in our lives, especially if you have dealt with any kind of long term illness. The truth is, I have kept this a  hidden place, a door I rarely share with or open to anyone, that is until today. Being under the thumb of a self righteous, all knowing, all seeing, emotional and spiritual abuser who lives each day with the hopes of bringing to light any dirty little secret they feel you may have can be downright exhausting. I am out of breath just  trying to spite it all out! Living in the light but feeling the need to cower in the shadows because some half crazed, dangerous kryptonite carrying, gold plated caped, God complexed abusive personality is insane! I still have yet to understand how these super power types believe they are invincible, sitting in pious judgment, looking for each and every rock they can possibly find and turn over all while praying to bring shame down on your head or any other poor soul they happened upon. 

You yourself may be in this very same situation at this very moment so let me fill you in on a little secret right about now: It’s NOT you! You are not the problem; you are not undeserving of love or of God’s grace.  God tells us to come just as we are, not washed up, hands neatly folded, hair brushed, laces tied and cheeks rosy with a smile on our face clones!  No, the down and dirty secret these spiritual sounding trapped inside legalism, guilt performance and begrudging folks don’t want you to know is this: God loves us in our  torn, worn out jeans, dirty faces, unwashed hair, smelly shoes and all! The real problem I have found when facing these types of people is that they are so insecure in themselves they have to tear you apart limb by limb in order to build themselves up! Sadly, these few need to imply you are lost, fallen so far from grace, that only” they” can intercede upon your behalf!

Listen up here friends, if you never take my advice ever again listen to me on this one: Do not put one tiny toe inside their stinking, pungent, sinking dingy! I repeat, back away from the dock, grab your running shoes and run as fast as you possibly can in the other direction! I am warning you if you buy this rotten load of a fish tale hook, line and sinker than these “ I have arrived” before you folks will have you on the brink of suicide, feeling incapable, worthless and unworthy of God’s love.  I know because I have been there, questioning my own sanity, my own relationship with God and my own strength all while battling the Big C. I have been to the brink of exhaustion, had guilt heaped upon my head, scolded for not going above and beyond to the point of death all while they themselves have scoffed the idea God would ask them to do the same!  I bet you have been asked to go beyond what is humanly possible, to believe, just like I have, God would ask us to give our lives away to feed these ludicrous egos. From a personal perspective injuries inflicted by those we know and love are crushing especially when they administer these wounds in the Name of God. Do not believe for one second this is the will of God! The truth is these kinds of demands are outright Godless requests, made in His name for the benefit of men and their own selfish nature!

Of course if you listen to the words of these few who come in sheep’s clothing, they can most certainly confuse you. If you slow down, using the super power of discernment you can actually watch them conspiring to siege your free will, convincing you they can save you and you’re spiritually lacking life all while handing over the keys to a great big bridge they have for sale too! Unfortunately if you do not agree with their dominate, I am right, sign the deal and just surrender to my total authority point of view  you  lose their approval and are shunned. By all means they will guilt you into surrendering your free will. By the time these super powered manipulation inspired authority figures use spiritual means to gratify their desires of importance, power, or intimacy it can be just as tormenting as having your nails peeled off during an interrogation! I can certainly tell you I would much rather live in the muddy, flea infested trenches, dealing with cancer and her consorts, battling hand to hand in combat than live my life under the microscope of anyone who feels they know my heart better than the God I serve does!

Oppression and domination are two of the key components a spiritual and emotional abuser will flaunt in your face on a daily basis, especially if they see you as weak. The real honest to God truth my friends is your weakness is actually strength, strength which has been forged, made strong by the refiner’s fire!  Do not be deceived by those who come to destroy you, hold your nose to the ground just because they feel they have the power to do so! I encourage you my friends to hold your ground, to cling to what is just, to what you know is right, and not to be swayed by those who cannot produce righteous fruit, full of unconditional love and true compassion.  Remember God does not require anything from us to come before Him, so if someone is preaching that you must obey their laws first, then you are in the presence of a false teacher! 

I know this post today is one of the strongest I have ever written, but there comes a time in one’s life when you must stand for what is not only just, but what is right! I myself serve a loving God; yes He is just, allowing me to fall and pull myself back up again but like a kind, loving Father He does not take delight in my failures, taunting me, abusing my spirit for His own gain. I have spent too much time around those who speak in God’s name yet know nothing of His true love, of His plans for our lives. Real Christianity in its truest form does not paint a picture of God sitting in a judge’s chamber handing out condemnation with each strike of His gavel!

 I challenge each and every one of you my friends and family not to become victims of these wolves in sheep’s clothing. Flee from those who come to steal your joy, who present you with legalistic misinterpretations of God’s word! Truly guilt and spiritual enslavement is the only outcome of such appalling positions of power.  Look closely at the fruit in their lives, what do you see? Is there strife, anguish, hatred, anger, lack of self control, lack of compassion and complete chaos? If these traits are the only fruits hanging upon a leader’s tree, then it is time to walk away, to stop inhaling the pungent smell of rotten fruit! If you do not see Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control than you need to pack your bags and run for the hills! 

My words to you today are to break free from those chains, the lock and key binding you to this zealot, religious, crippling kryptonite. Remember there are always villains in this world wearing super powered capes crusading as super heroes but real love comes from a deeper source, a spring of grace, living inside of each of us, giving to us the power to heal and to bring hope into the lives of those we love.   

As I close this chapter of my life today, I choose to live free from oppression. I choose love, grace and infinite forgiveness.  I am absolutely comfortable with my less than perfect, dented fender, rusted out door, multi- colored Hippie van. When push comes to shove I am perfectly happy with staying as far away from the perfect people parking zone as possible. I know I am not perfect by any means! I mess up constantly, I am human after all, not blameless or sinless but imperfectly saved!  I know my God is real; He lives within my heart, guiding me through the darkness, out of the shadows, not chasing me into the dungeons of despair. Besides, Jeremiah 29:11 says, For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. So the real honest to God truth, is this: when all is said and done at the end of the day I know without a doubt my Lord is not compiling a list of my failures, instead He is working on a Christina –can- do- list and you know what, I am alright with that!



  1. This is th most amazing post. My friend who has Ovarian and Uterine cancer at the age of 23 would love this. I am going to send her the link. Her blog is simplysunshineanddaisys.blogspot.com While she does not always post about her illness she is affected and experiences hardships daily.

  2. Hi Christina,
    That was an amazing post. You have given words/vocabulary to describe some of my own life's experiences. How true that man's judgements so differ from that of God - God looks at the heart and His love is unconditional.


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