About Me...

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In a nut shell : I'm a full time working mom, a Star Wars geek, comic book nerd, Disney enthusiast, hockey Mom, a breast cancer survivor of almost a decade and oh let's not forget such a happy, sassy, southern mess!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Sometimes Life Just Falls Apart


Sometimes life just starts falling apart and no matter how hard you try to super glue or chase your life around with a hot glue gun, your life is still going to end up shattered on the floor. Plain and simple our lives are going to crack one way or another. Without a shadow of a doubt,  each of us are going to face the darkness and end up falling to pieces despite our best attempts at keeping it together! I like to think of these moments like eggs, cracked, broken and scrambled inside the frying pan.

No matter how hard I try, or how much time I spend trying to appear I have it all together, the truth is I am very human and because of this one word I am imperfect. I spend many days racing around like a crazy woman. Goodness knows I may even have one of those famous Lisa Lampanelli break down moments as she often does on the Celebrity Apprentice. Without even realizing how we look or how insane we may be acting we all have those breakdown moments surrounded by complete mayhem from time to time . How many times have we all battled with ourselves, strangling our own necks with our very own hands? Feeling kind of like the Keystone cops, in, out, up, down, running all around? The whole ugly, terrifying emotional spectrum comes up to bat while we helplessly watch our lives fall apart from the sidelines.

Life can seem too hard, in fact 9 out of 10 days we may be ready to throw our arms up and hand over the deed of our souls to the enemy because the battle is just too much for us to cope with.  Seriously as soon as the day begins the battle is pushing our defense lines further and further back, as the enemy advances. I don't know about you but those are the times I am be ready to slam down my sword, my beaten to a pulp shield and retreat. But God is so much bigger than our fears, stronger than our shortcomings and mightier than any uncertainty we are holding onto. This I know: On those terrifying days of panic and fear, I am wrapped up completely in His mercy, I am captured by this one of a kind, beautiful, precious grace ready and waiting on me to just open the last unopened door I have been cowering in front of all along.

I can fuss about it all I want but sometimes I am just not privy to the map or the stories ending He has knowledge of. Fear and doubt sadly come naturally and our short falling can seem impossible almost too much for redemption but the truth is we are never a hopeless cause! These tight, painful, at times unjust and more times than not un-necessary chains we are bound to hold us down, surround us, crushing us under their weight. How many times do we call out for help? Sure sometimes folks hear us and run through the door but then there are those days we just sit alone, in a  dark, lonely corner crying over the split milk of our lives.

The thing about life friends is it's  really not just a destination, it's truly in every sense of the word a journey. That means we have to pass through the bad lands just as many times as we take the exit into the Promised Land! Our scars are simply reminders of the strength we found, and were given in the middle of so much chaos to each side of us during the journey. Sure we may experience days when we feel left and broken down on the side of the road but help always comes. Maybe not at the exact time we feel it should come charging our way , grabbing us up and giving us a first class seat into paradise. Nope many times we take the first ride that comes along and we either end of dumped on the outskirts of  town or we are pulled along, drug along at the back end of a horse screaming something along the lines of this not what we signed up for!

What we have to do is slow down, not worrying about the weather today or which way the highway bends. As we pray for blessings, for peace and gentle winds we also have to understand we may have to go through need, through betrayal and harsh storms to reach those gifts on the other side of this turbulence. I myself have had to comprehend and accept the fact all the trails of this life are just detours guiding me along this amazing, frighting and adventurous destination. Personally I have had to allow the Lord access into my deepest, darkest, most abandoned places. When I think I have nothing good to bring to this life, He becomes the deliverer of my pain. As the strife and confusion rages around me trying to  hammer away at what's left of my life, reaching for the deep wounds of betrayal and hurt, I am unmistakably and beautifully put back together again.  Then emerging just like a butterfly  after a long stay in the cocoon, tucked away we spring back to life just like a stained glass window replacing a shattered, missing pane in the architecture of this life we are all part of. Truly let us become courageous in this life we live, may we raise an anthem of beauty, of joy, let our song rise above the loud banging of our pain for He alone has entered into our brokenness to  make something new and beautiful of our cracked up eggshells of lives, ensuring we are beautiful, works of art in His sight. All we have to do is believe because faith is already in motion, in all of us, inspiring us to take the next step.

As I close I want you to think of the brokenness as an eggshell, the color drab, the top missing and the yoke gone. Of course we could just throw it away and be done with the mess but with just a bit of  determination we can bring it the broken egg back to life, give it another chance to offer hope, joy and happiness to others. Our lives are exactly like the broken, cracked, egg missing the yoke of life inside. God sees a second chance and with tender hands, He replaces the emptiness inside with confetti, splashes some color and adds a touch of beauty to what was once broken bringing joy and happiness to not only your life but to the lives of those surrounding you. I know on a practical note, those egg shells are broken all over again, but think of the joy they bring, the happiness they add while bursting confetti everywhere! I want to be like that! To become beautiful in spite of the hand I been dealt, to share joy and happiness, hope and bursts of laughter along the road. Sure sometimes life falls apart, but I am a living example tender of His grace. When I think a bout it, I am the Humpty Dumpty no one said could be put back together... the truth is the King's men couldn't do the job but the King could!

~Christina

2 comments:

  1. Not a spiritual person(you know that), but this is eloquent & assessible. ~Mary

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  2. I could come out with all sorts of platitudes, Christina. But I'll just say: hang on in there, and we're here for you

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