Having your life under go total reconstruction can be messy, real messy. Everything has to fall apart to come back together. The reality is it’s going to become extensive and expensive on all fronts. Reconstructing your life is painful yet remarkable. Life, once you commit to the process of reformation can get complicated. Suddenly our typical right of way priorities are uprooted, dug up and sorted out. There’s a saying “I’m proud of who I am because I fought hard to become her.” This suits me perfectly. Who I am now, who I have become compared to who I was before 2015 is almost unrecognizable.
I guess I kinda just fell off the face of the earth, tucked myself under a rock and squirreled away for the winter. Sometimes you just have to simplify life, get rid of all your distractions and let the rest go. I made a conscious decision to prioritize my marriage, my family and yes, myself. It’s surprising how many times as women we think we’re aware of our priorities and yet know absolutely nothing about any of them. We’re so busy taking care of everyone else but ourselves we lose sight of the deterioration happening inside the walls of our everyday lives.
So what is a girl to do? Well, I simply walked away from my old life, my broken down, beat up, aged and ramshackled routines. In doing so, I began evaluating what was important, taking inventory, stopping the emotional and mental hemorrhaging. I accepted my life really had to change, then I began relying upon myself. And guess what? I discovered a determination, a lioness I had no idea was just under the surface, ready and waiting, clawing herself up and out of me. In the days that followed, I embraced a new way of thinking, living and looking at the world around me. I reevaluated my entire existence and you know what, I learned a lot. First I took down my Facebook, Instagram and twitter accounts. Then I decided to put The Uniboob Club on hiatus. Life needed to slow down, way down to a snail’s pace actually. I needed to find my own way and my own voice. Bottom line, my life had to undergo reconstruction.
Put your fighting shoes on! Cause Life Lesson # 41, speaks to the strength, the power, the energy and spark within you, believing you’re a force to be reckoned with!
Life, as a whole, is all about change. How we adapt, refine and allow ourselves to be transformed through and by the fire. We can be made, forged by the flame or we can be unmade, becoming ash, swept away and forgotten. My choice came when I hit the end of my rope. I had to decide was I capable of walking into the fire, boldly or not? Today, I couldn’t be more grateful for the process. See my reality had to change, how I saw myself and those whom I loved. I had to let go of old ideas, past ways of doing things, to begin purposely redirecting my thoughts and completely embrace both new and different choices. Since deciding to jump into the deep end of the ocean, feet first, I’ve journeyed a thousand miles and back again emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. And you know what; I’ve become a completely different person. Truthfully if you based what you think you know about me on the girl I was a year ago, then you have no idea who the woman I have become today.
Boy, I thought breast cancer changed me; honey, cancer had nothing on my 40’s! Let me tell you something though, for every attempt, every near miss and each hit my life has taken, this woman has not been broken. I may have come close, but I haven’t shattered. I am still in one piece even if my life has been rearranged a little differently. Did I almost lose myself, yes, and everything within striking distance? There was a definite black hole pulling me in toward complete chaos and yes, darkness. Yes! I was helpless to fight against it for a good long while. Was I hurt, betrayed, abandoned? Yes I was. Did my marriage go through the fire? Yes it did! Am I ashamed of that tidbit? no, absolutely not! You know why? Because, “the hardest steel is FORGED in the hottest fire”…
Today, I’m stronger than I’ve ever been before. I believe in a strong heart, strong mind, and strong body. Once those are in tack your soul can’t help but become stronger. Mohamed Ali has always said, "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.” And that’s exactly what I have done with my life! I’m physically, and mentally more powerful. I know my limits. I’m confident; secure in my own body image, in my marriage and the goals I’ve set for myself. I’m comfortable in my own skin, in my nerdy, geeky self. I’m not afraid of change, of its fluidity. My advice..stop worrying about the closed doors behind you..keep yourself focused on the opened ones in front of you. Doors will close in life while others will open. Don’t focus so much on what anyone else thinks, compete with no one except yourself. Insecurities are loud, confidence speaks for itself. Humility is the real key to success, to accept that you may not have all the answers all the time and you may not be right no matter how desperately you want to be. What we need to realize is it’s not about lifting yourself up while knocking someone else down in the process. The goal ahead of you should be clear, not the prize. Prizes fade, goals change. Remember no one has to like you; no one else needs to validate your success as long as you know your own worth. As long as you love yourself, you’ll succeed, doors will open and yes you’ll "float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.”