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In a nut shell : I'm a full time working mom, a Star Wars geek, comic book nerd, Disney enthusiast, hockey Mom, a breast cancer survivor of almost a decade and oh let's not forget such a happy, sassy, southern mess!

Friday, August 12, 2016

LIFE LESSON #50 ~A New Beginning!



Growing up is scary. And by growing up I don’t mean getting older or putting mileage on. No, I mean growing into men and women who were born victorious.  None of us are born to live a life of defeat. Yes some are given more, while others have to fight to get to the top but we're not meant to live derailed, crushed or rejected. What I do know from my own difficulties, is I want to be the kind of woman who doesn’t settle but walks with purpose, allowing the fire inside me not to scorch my surroundings but to burn brighter inside of me.

Growing up isn’t about who you are,where you're from or where you're going in life because we’re all still growing, learning every day whether we’re 10 years old or 80. The truth is up until we take our last breath our hearts and minds continue to illuminate and compose our story. Our tales are never fully told or revealed until the last word is penned on the very last page of the final chapter and the book is closed. Honestly, until then our stories continue to unfold into new chapters. Each new beginning becomes deeper, sometimes darker or brighter, more radiant, dramatic, vivid and a fascinating portion of our story. Turning over the final page in our irrevocable last chapter, in this great big book we call life is inevitable, no doubt.  I don’t know about you, but I am nowhere near ready to shut my account of life down just yet.  Until that moment arrives, I believe you, as much as I do, have many wonderful and a few harrowing chapters left to explore.  

Firsthand experience, from a personal account I admit, I’ve been stuck in a rut, re-reading and going over the last few chapters of my life for a while now.  I'll close a chapter; turn the page and suddenly old subjects and predicates are present again. I keep going round and round, trying to skip pages and bypass chapters. Despite my best efforts I end up on the same page, same topic, without a concluding sentence. It’s seriously past time to edit the last chapter and begin a new one. Personally, I’m ready to turn over a new leaf, begin a new chapter. There’s a quote I think of often, especially when I’m looking at the beginning of a new point in my life.  It goes like this, “There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world-because you realize there’s so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.”(Unknown)

Life Lesson #50 ~A new chapter begins “Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses. He sets the time for birth and the time for death, the time for planting and the time for pulling up, the time for killing and the time for healing, the time for tearing down and the time for building. He sets the time for sorrow and the time for joy, the time for mourning and the time for dancing, the time for making love and the time for not making love, the time for kissing and the time for not kissing. He sets the time for finding and the time for losing, the time for saving and the time for throwing away, the time for tearing and the time for mending, the time for silence and the time for talk. He sets the time for love and the time for hate, the time for war and the time for peace.”   I think Ecclesiastes 3: 2-8 really hits the nail on the head when it comes to describing chapters in our lives.  There’s a time for everything, just as there’s a time to begin a new chapter and close the one that came before it.

Have you ever wanted something so badly and yet this illusive"object" continues to slip out of your hands, always just out of reach? That’s how I’ve felt for a while now. The reality is I actually have ALL I need and everything I want. I have a beautiful family, a husband who loves me, calls me beautiful and is committed to our marriage. Two smart, intelligent boys who might not always see eye to eye with me never disappoint me. Parents who adore me and are always there for me. And my family, both extended and by name who've never stopped loving me for the crazy mess that I am.  No, I don’t need a size 3, perfect body; I don’t need a bank account overflowing beyond my wildest dreams or a flawless picture perfect family parading around as proof of a flawless life.  You know why, because I have a very full, fault filled life. I’m so far from perfect it’s ridiculous. I’ve questioned my confidence all my life. I’ve allowed other people or circumstances to allow me to feel unqualified and less than enough. But the truth is I AM ENOUGH, I’m coming to understand this important fact: imperfection is nothing to be ashamed of.  Sure it’s frightening, quite alarming in fact to start over, to begin again.  But it’s not just about ending something either, sometimes it’s about recreating yourself, and your circumstances. I've come to realize this is MY story, and yes it’s still unfolding, day by day, and chapter by chapter.

Yep, a new chapter absolutely seems difficult, but it’s not the end of your story. What so many of us need to do is believe is the One who made us, and by doing this, we not only know ourselves but we also know our worth.Growing up, learning to stumble, and not be embarrassed, to accept life has more gray than black and white and to be authentic in spite of our last chapter’s struggles and failures is where victory is gained. Yes, this is where I am today. I’m following my courage, not dimming the light inside my heart even it makes others uncomfortable.  I'm beginning to find the courage to be myself, nerdy life and all.  I’m not afraid anymore to live the life I’ve been graciously given nor am I afraid of the woman I was not only born to be but created and destined to become.  Just remember we’ve all got our own story, we’re all on a journey, as Bob Goff says, “Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later.

~Christina


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