I am a mess of a woman. I can be honest. I rarely have it all together. I love to daydream, to get lost in a book and I've got a flair for the creative. Music, comic books, Star Wars and anything steampunk is generally right up my alley. I'm a responsible woman. I acknowledge when I'm wrong. I have a different sense of humor, goofy probably describes me more than the word than humorous. I'm educated, both in the traditional sense and in an unconventional means. I'm a resourceful woman. I can make something good to eat out of whatever is in the pantry and fridge. And yes I can make money stretch for as long as need be. I'm fairly responsible too. I work full time like many women, leaving the house and finding my way back home again every weekday. I pick my battles when it comes to cleaning our house and the kitchen is open for home cooked meals Sunday through Thursday and some Saturdays. I'm often found with my hair down, bare foot with two puppies in my lap and a sweet tea within reach. I can go from lazy to ready to go quicker than you can say 'a monkey's uncle.' I am a bit odd but if I'm not worried about it then why should any one else be? I love the woman I have become, but not because I'm every one's idea of perfection, but honestly because I'm the opposite. I'm a hot mess without a doubt, but I'm myself no questions asked. I believe in being different and 100% yourself, quirks and all. I guess the truth is I have a seriously wild heart, a streak of creative passion I refuse to let go of and a song in my heart I don't mind blaring as loud as possible, on a loop. You can say it, I know it's true, go on, blame it on my gypsy soul.
They call soul's like mine bohemian. It's a word many times describing hippies, but there's more to it than that. I'm certainly not a hippie by any stretch of the word, and no I don't scream wild child at first glance but I am a free spirit. I've never really done things as expected. I've wandered, seen the world, explored, and found my soul at perfect peace in the hands of Jesus Christ. When I was lost, He found me. When my heart had broken, He put it back together just like stained glass. When my soul was torn, he restored it, making me new again. The beauty of when God mends our lives is He takes us just as we are, no strings attached. He loves me for the hot mess I am, not for the picture perfect idea of a Godly woman someone else has decided I should be. He sees my desire to serve Him, to love and be loved and to be uniquely myself. He knows without question I feel as Erin Van Vurem does, "I will not be another flower, picked for my beauty and left to die. I will be wild and difficult." I am headstrong, stubborn and messy. Still my Father smiles in spite of my chaos. Knowing I have a gypsy soul and a wild heart He simply grins widely, putting His arms out and folding me into them. I've read a quote many times on Pinterest that spells out who I am pretty well. It says this, "She has a gypsy soul and a warrior spirit. She makes no apologies for her wild heart. She leaves normal and regular to explore the outskirts of extraordinary." You may not see it when you look at me, and other's like me but once you get to know us, glancing into our hearts you recognize the wild gypsy soul within. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know who I am , hot mess and all. I'm a free spirit, a bit off beat, peculiar and odd at times. As defined, I am "a gypsy, wanderer, a person, musician, artist or writer who lives a free spirited life and believes in truth, freedom and love." That's who I am, but I am also a woman of God, with a warrior heart, surrendering my life, as messy as it is, to the One who gave His for mine. I mean sure this definition above can be interpreted in many different ways, but for me it speaks volumes to who I am underneath it all. I'm comfortable in who I am in Jesus Christ, in my weird, random ways. I am perfectly content with the woman I have become since I took my first breath over 43 years ago. I don't feel the need to hide who I am and by God's grace neither do my children. I may have failed them in many ways through the years but not in this, not in knowing who they are. This they know and accept when it comes to being themselves. To paraphrase Dean Jackson, by God's grace, my boys, much like their mama, "dance to songs in their heads, speak with the rhythm of their hearts and love from the depth of their souls." If I can look at anything I've done halfway right in life, it's in the raising of our boys and in giving them the freedom to be themselves in Christ.
It's taken me years to live my life as I was meant to...free, unabandoned and with fire. My gypsy soul has been let out of the man made box this world tried to contain me in. Having the heart I do, residing within the soul my Father gave me, I fully understand this point," A girl's most beautiful outfit ever is her charisma, the prettiest accessory is her smile and the best pair of heels is confidence." Life is meant to be lived not caged. I live a life free today because of Jesus Christ's sacrifice. He offered me the ability to be myself, to come just as I am. I believe strongly in doing your own thing in life, being your own person. I say often, go on, swim against the current and you just might see how life becomes amazingly charming in the process. Ephesians 2:10 says this," For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." (NLT) And isn't this the truth? And that is why I chose to end April with Life Lesson #149 ~ My Gypsy Soul. Each of us is a Masterpiece, adopted by the King, unwanted by the world, and embraced by the Father of Heaven. I'm a child of God, bought and paid for only to be set free by His mercy and grace. I may be a chaotic, hot mess with a gypsy soul but I am His and nothing can take that away from me.
"And at the end of the day your feet should be dirty, your hair messy and your eyes sparkling." ~ Shanti