About Me...

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In a nut shell : I'm a wife, a full time working mom, a teacher, a Star Wars geek, comic book nerd, Disney enthusiast, hockey Mom, a decade long breast cancer survivor, and oh let's not forget such a happy, sassy, southern mess!

Monday, April 3, 2017

Life Lesson #140 ~ There Once Was A Little Girl

"I often miss the little girl whose dreams had no barriers...Who believed in a world where anything is possible with a heart that was full and unbroken." ~ Anonymous

I don't know how things were when you were growing up or what you wanted to be or  even who you wanted to become. We're all so different with distinct ideas and dreams but we can probably agree on one thing, we saw the world through young, fresh, wide open, bold eyes.  I remember very clearly who I was as a child and who I wanted to be. Years later, the truth is life has turned me inside out and back again. Despite those disappointments I can still hear that same little girl inside me, yelling, "Hold on tight girl, we got this." Seriously, isn't it funny how we change and yet stay the same?  I am so much the little girl I once was and yet I have changed in more ways than I can count. The reality is I have grown through those changes and in growing I've become a much stronger, passionate and spirited woman than I could have ever dreamed I'd be. In finding my inner voice, my courage and determination as a young woman, through high school and beyond I've come into my own.  As the little girl looking back out through a woman's eyes today, I understand  R.H. Sin's words, "Her smile was like armor and everyday she went to war." Yes I have gone to war everyday but that is not where my story ends or even begins.

My story begins with love, hope and courage. Why those things, well because I was born out of all three. I was brought into this world, carved out and given life because of a purposeful deep unconditional love and the desire of my parents to have a child. Growing up I was given wings to fly and the ability to explore the world around me while keeping my feet firmly planted in Jesus. I was taught and given full freedom to be myself, to embrace everything that made me different and unique  but with humility. I was never afraid of rejection or fearful of who I could become one day because I was always safe, tucked away and wrapped inside the safe arms of my parents and Jesus Christ. Being different, standing out was not a curse, but a blessing in our home. I learned through watching my parents never to be afraid of being divergent. Instead I was more afraid of being the same as everyone else in a world full of hate, despair and cruelty. I guess I understood even as a child, "All the real monsters in the world are humans." And realizing that  as a little girl made me want to shine a brighter light, be accountable, take ownership  and grow up to a woman full of grace, not regret and contempt even more. Standing where I am today, as the woman I've become I'm aware just how blessed I have been.  Growing up I  was given the gifts of gentleness, kindness and hopefulness. I was shown how to give, to put myself last and never to feel entitled or resentful when doing so. I learned early on something William Shakespeare once said to be true, "The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."

So what gift could I possible have to give away? I mean who am I in this great big world of billions? The truth is we all have a part of us, a gift inside we are meant to share, to give away. The struggle is real as we look for and find the courage within to step out of the shadows. The little girl  I was and the woman I am are just two sides to the same coin. Much like the dreams of the little girl I once was, the Wizard of Oz taught me as a  woman something pretty spectacular actually. "You have plenty of courage I am sure. All you need is confidence in yourself. There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid, and that kind of courage you have in plenty." So  yes, there once was a little girl. She was happy, full of joy and hopefulness. She knew she was meant to serve, to give and to fight battles yet unseen or unknown and so she decided early on to feed her hopes, her courage, not her demons. She knew life was hard, but she loved it anyway.  She knew sometimes  better than anyone else, "Courage, determination and strength were what little girls were actually made of." Growing up in a world of make believe and imagination, a world where she was free to be herself, she learned to fight the monsters, the dragons and the wicked witch without losing her dignity in the real world outside. In a world full of princesses, she was content simply being Batman. This little girl found wielding a sword and shield made her happier than a wand and a tiara. After all being "a princess with the strength of a warrior" wasn't such a bad thing. This little girl, she took the time to think and to ask herself," Is there anything she can't handle? She's been broken. She's been knocked down. She's been defeated. She's felt pain that most couldn't handle. She looks fear in the face year after year, day after day but yet, she never runs. She never hides  and she always finds a way to get back up. She's unbreakable. She's a warrior. She's you."(allthings_possible)

My story is far from over, but when it does end I hope it can be said of me I was never defeated or afraid to be myself. That despite the suffering this world may have brought into my life I was found kind, courageous and illuminated by hope. After all John 16:33 says this about life," I have told you this so that you will have peace by being united to me. The world will make you suffer. But be brave! I have defeated the world!" And I know if He has defeated the world, I can be brave when facing it. So yes, Life Lesson #140 ~ There Once Was A Little Girl is about strength and courage but balance as well. We can't control everything, nor should we want to. What fun would life be if the element of surprise was gone? In closing I want to share an anonymous quote that means a lot to me, speaks to both the little girl inside of me and the woman I have become. It says this," Find balance in your life. Work hard but don't let it take over your life, you will lose yourself. Love but love for the right reasons. Life is too short for anything mediocre. Know who you are and know that you are worthy of reaching your dreams and that it is never too late to start creating that life you have always dreamed of. Do not compare yourself to others, that's just deadly. No two souls are the same. You are your own person, you are beautiful and you are unique. put your trust in the universe. Some things are just meant to happen, and some are not. Let go of whatever is stealing your happiness, it's hard but worth it. Embrace change. Embrace life. Everything happens for a reason, sometimes you just need to breathe, trust and let go."  And that is exactly what I plan to do with the rest of my life, from here until to the end of my story.

"You've always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself." ~ Glinda, The Wizard of Oz


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