Life lessons from this grown-up nerdy girl's amazing geeky life AFTER breast cancer. Pretty much I'm just an average nerdy girl who grew up to marry the love of her life, a former football jock and together promptly raised two amazing super nerds!
In a nut shell : I'm a full time working mom, a Star Wars geek, comic book nerd, Disney enthusiast, hockey Mom, a breast cancer survivor of almost a decade and oh let's not forget such a happy, sassy, southern mess!
"Hope is not born on mountain tops, but in valleys when you're looking up to the heights and peaks that you're yet to climb." ~ Susanna April
I don't know about you, but I'm a mountain climber. Now let's not read too much into that. I'm not speaking of climbing an actual mountain like Everest. I'm adventurous enough to say back in my college years I was known to climb up and repel down a few in the Mountain state. But on a serious note, what I'm really talking about are the mental, spiritual and emotional mountains we face. These mountains I know well. These mountains can be dark, dangerous and down right scary but in the midst of any ascent or descent, I've learned this: "Tell your mountain about your God.'
Mountains can be beautiful as much as they are treacherous. They can offer us refuge and still cause us pain. The thing I know about life is it's filled with both valley's and mountaintops. You have to go through and sometimes over one to get to the other. Breast cancer was just one of my many mountains, and no it wasn't easy. I was scared to death, no pun intended. It wasn't the hair loss, the loss of a breast, the chemo or even the pain and illness that came with that particular mountain. No, it was the uncertainty, the idea I may not make it over that mountain and I honestly wasn't really sure how I could make it through it either. Yet in spite of my doubt and my fear my Savior whispered in my ear death could not hold Me so why would I let it steal you. In those moments I knew without a doubt, no matter the physical outcome, I would reach the top of that mountain one way or another. From that assent came my voice, a mighty roar and in the descent, this blog was born. If not for that mountain, I would have never found the courage to put pen to paper, to dig deeper than ever before and to share my journey with you. Looking back, and out from the view I have now, I see how true this quote is, "You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved." ( Unknown)
I have met more mountains with less passes and more landslides than I care to count. Yet I know a truth Christine Cain speaks of, "The most difficult time in your life may be the border to your Promised Land." And she's right. If not for those uphill struggles, those sides of the mountain that were high, or steep I would have never made it to the top, nor would I found rest in the valley below before facing the remaining darkness chasing me. I had to get over those mountains in my life, to pass through them, to have the faith to say 'move', and at other times even the knowledge to know it isn't my mountain. Sometimes we try tackling or even carrying a mountain that isn't ours. There are also times we struggle to pick up a mountain that is ours, to load it on our backs and carry it off when we were only meant to go around it. And that's where I think we forget to say to that mountain, move! Our faith becomes beaten down sometimes but we have to remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 17:20, "For if you had faith even as small as a tiny mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move!’ and it would go far away. Nothing would be impossible." (The Living Bible) Sure He could be speaking of physical mountains, and I know He could move them but in our day to day lives, we know looking at this verse Jesus is speaking to the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual mountains, the uphill struggles we face everyday. I think we just get caught up and "sometimes when we get overwhelmed, we forget how big God is."
That mountain, it's big, it's looming and it's going to be a struggle I have no doubt. But I am a daughter of the King. I not only wear His crown , I have His shield and sword with me. I rest firmly in knowing my prayers and faith are grounded in Him and they can move those mountains. I may be scared and I may doubt myself, but I do not doubt His strength. I have seen His mercies and felt His grace time and time again. The scars I bare are not reminders of battles lost. I am not ashamed of the stories they hold. No my scars, they are reminders of victories won. I am a woman of faith, a woman who knows her past very well. I am a woman who has been found blameless because He claims me as His own, bringing me to my knees not out of shame but because of mercy. He is not ashamed of me, not of any of my mountains or the battles I had to endure to overcome them. I really love how Pamela J. Kuhn explains mountain tops. She puts it like this, "She stood on the mountains, feeling the rocks crumble beneath her feet. One thing she knew, the God of her mountaintop victories would help fight her valley demons." You see whatever is before me , I am not alone. My faith has been tested continually throughout my lifetime. I may have fallen, been bruised, crippled , even beaten down at times, and to many it would seem I've failed. The truth is I have. My body and my mind have completely fallen apart but I have never given up my faith. My God, my Father, He has never stopped pulling me up, carrying me on His back or even saying to those mountains to difficult for me, "MOVE!" Isaiah 41:10 out of The Message version has this to say about that, "I've picked you. I haven't dropped you. Don't panic I'm with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God. I will give you strength. I will help you. I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you."
And so Life Lesson #150 ~ Say To That Mountain, is not about how ready you are or how strong you are when facing your own personal mountains. No, it's about having the faith inside of your heart to know you will reach the top. The real core of this life lesson is simply found in carrying that mustard seed with you, saying to that mountain, 'I will not be moved', then with the strength of God within you pushing it out of the way.
Just remember, "The best view comes after the hardest climb." ` Unknown